What is Domestic Violence (DV)?
Domestic Violence is about power and control. It is never to be confused with love, caring or respect. It is a pattern of behavior that includes the use of threat and/or violence and intimidation for the purpose of gaining power and control over another person or persons.
Did you know?
- Domestic violence occurs in all types of families: rich, poor, old and young
- Every 34 minutes, Arizona law enforcement files a report about a domestic
abuse crime witnessed by a child
- Every 15 seconds a woman is beaten
- Domestic abuse is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44
- Domestic violence affects 1 out of 3 Arizona residents
- You are not alone!
Some Warning Signs of DV
Does Your Partner:
- Embarrass you with bad names and put-downs?
- Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
- Control what you do, say, wear or who you talk to and where to go?
- Prevent you from talking to your friends or your family members?
- Take your money, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?
- Make all decisions without your input?
- Abandon you and your children in places where you have no way of getting home?
- Tell you that you are a bad parent, or threaten to take your children away?
- Act like the abuse is no big deal?
- Destroy your property or threaten to kill or hurt your pets?
- Intimidate you with guns, knives, or other dangerous weapons?
- Hit, slap, shove, bite, kick or punch you ?
- Force you to drop all/any charges filed against them?
- Threaten to hurt you?
Why does the victim stay with the abuser?
This is the question most asked, instead of asking why someone batters in the first place. There is a victim-blaming attitude. People who are abused often hear that they must need or like such treatment or they would leave. In reality, someone's reasons for staying are much more complex:
- Fear that the abuser's actions may become more violent or even lethal if she attempts to leave. In fact, the most dangerous time for a woman who is battered is when she leaves.
- Friends and family may not support her leaving.
- Leaving could mean losing custody of the children, losing financial support and or experiencing harassment from the abuser at work.
- She may have been cut off from all finances, including the ability to hold a job, bank accounts and cash, or have poor credit due to the abuser.
- The relationship is filled with the ups and downs of good times and love, then abuse, intimidation, and fear.
- A fear of being "outed", either for his or her sexual orientation, substance abuse, or that their home life is not as 'picture perfect' as it may appear to their social group.
- She may have traditional ideas on family and divorce.
What About Men?
The vast majority of men are not violent and want to stop domestic violence because it is the women in their lives - their mothers, daughters, sisters - who are the victims. As children, men may have been abused themselves, or watched their own fathers use violence to assert or maintain control over their mothers. Domestic violence affects everyone, male and female. It is a human issue!